Ordeal of my Driving Test
When Road Transport Authority (shortly RTA) recruit Driving Test Officers in Australia, they look for two main qualities.
a. the person should be old (preferably, ‘back from coffin’)
b. and must be grumpy
I started to get awful feeling the moment I saw my driving examiner as he extactly matched the above characteristics. He must be in his late 90s, or at least he looked as if he was one. He was baldheaded (must have lost a strand of hair every time he failed a test taker) and he was utterly grumpy (I guess that because he was suffering from IBS or had domestic dispute with his wife).
I approached him with my application for the driving test. After a scrutinizing look at it - he said, ‘This will be the last time you need to show your L license… IFFF you pass the test’. These very words from his foul mouth confirmed my corky feeling I quoted at the beginning of the post.
We were soon in the car ready for the driving test. After praying all my ancestral deities, I carefully maneuvered the car out of the parking bay and rolled out onto the main road. My good time didn’t last even for a minute. He asked me to turn at first approaching left. But I missed that and took the second left. That’s the beginning of the end to my chance for obtaining the driving license! He startled; he shrugged. He reacted as if he found me while making-out with his daughter(oh no! she must be in her 70s…).
After 40 minutes of nerve wracking driving test we returned to the RTA office.
He said cynically: ‘Your result is far from pass’.
I knew very well I was failed.
He showed my the score sheet which he was marking devilishly throughout my driving session…(If you happened to see the scoring sheet of RTA, you would be surprised to notice that they have listed every action (except sneezing and farting) under fail items….
Like the dutiful Indian police who charge the caught pick-pocket suspect on all possible IPC sections including hawala, my examiner marked me under 8 fail items like -
- Disobeying traffic signs, signals or road markings
- Exceeding the speed limit
- Failing to give way when necessary
- Action requiring testing officer intervention
- Performing an illegal act or maneuver
My result was etched on my headstone.
When I collected the result and prepared to leave he said in his usual sarcastic tone-
‘There is only one person can save you and he right beside you’ referring my Driving Instructor who was standing helplessly next to me. I wanted to reply him -‘You old lousy moron, there is only one person can save you and he right above you!’ , but I didn’t say it thinking what if my ill-fate puts him as my testing officer when I take the test again!
I walked out quietly.
